sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
