gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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