we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
