dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
