That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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