he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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