you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
