I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
