Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
