dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Alive.
So much puke
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
