I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
