i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
