i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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