I got chris browned last night
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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