I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
