I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
The air taste purple.
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