hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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