I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
