Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
