Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
