I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
