is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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