Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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