actually, I'm a sock model
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
