So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
