I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
