hotel room ftw
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
