my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
