I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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