Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I need moral support for this bender
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
