whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Do vagina's smell?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
