She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
