I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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