just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I could make wine with my vomit
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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