I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
