The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
