I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
