his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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