i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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