dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
