Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Randomize
