This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
