Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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