So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
