she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You can't special order awesome
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
