Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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