PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
