i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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