I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
