I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
