cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Still dying that you shit outside
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
