I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Ketchup is God's man juice
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
