The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
