47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
