It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
