too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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