so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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