You're my little dorito
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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