oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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