i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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