So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
